Back for the chop
Well, here’s another slightly gruesome picture for the blog. It’s been one of those years, with more to come! Two days ago I had a melanoma removed from my back by a dermatologist, Dr Jeremy Banky. He told me that it is a Stage 1 lesion, meaning that it had not become invasive, which is very good news. Here’s the nicely-stitched up wound; it’s not too uncomfortable.
I’m glad I went to the trouble to get an appointment to let him give me the once-over. I have another skin cancer of some sort to be cut out of my chest in a fortnight’s time. That’s not a melanoma, but still a damned cancer after all.
This sort of thing focusses my mind on ageing and mortality. I’m 70, and quite often feeling my age. That involves reduced strength, and a myriad of aches and pains, mostly arthritic. The spinal stenosis in my back has a major effect on the way that I move, twist, bend, lift and just walk around. It won’t go away. It is inoperable, so I just have to cope with the dysfunction. Which I do pretty well most of the time.
But the melanoma could have killed me. They inevitably spread and invade the lymphatic system, so I’m glad I got in the hands of an expert in good time.
Contemplation of my distantly approaching but inevitable death is nothing new for me. Since the late 1970s I’ve suffered depression, which when untreated, lead to powerful suicidal imagery. I thought it was better not to exist than to burden others with my toxic presence. I had various methods mapped out.
Fortunately, I fell into the hands of a good psychiatrist who was able to turn me around with medication and psychotherapy. I still see a psych and take antidepressants, and it’s pretty well under control. I know my weak points, faults, toxic thinking and ugly buttons, and can avoid them most of the time. But seeing the psych saved my life, or at least my marriage. I was lucky, in a way, just as I am with this little melanoma.
My advice is, if you think you’re feeling the effects of depression, get a referral to a psychiatrist. And if you’ve had sun-damage in earlier years, get a referral to a dermatologist. Don’t hesitate!
August 5th, 2009 at 6:37 am
Your advice is sound, Bill. You were instrumental in heading me in the right direction to have my depression diagnosed and treated accordingly. Your perception and sense of connectedness towards me could well be attributed to my still being in the land of the living.
I have setbacks, but with my awareness, and help from those who care about me, I am going forward.
I hope your advice gets out there where it will be of use.
Between you and Glenyce, you are showing off some fine needlework there
Stay well.
Cheers
Gaye
August 9th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
I’m so, so glad that you’re still in the land of the living, dear Gaye, and especially still in my life, albeit at a distance. You have so much more to experience, so much joy, - yes- even pain, but so much wonder, joy and love.
June 18th, 2010 at 12:00 pm
Bob Marley died of Melanoma right ?,`”